Times

From August to November I've had a lot to say, but haven't said much at all. 2008 and the 1st half of 2009 threw me more curve balls than jorge posada saw this past season. Summer days were lazy with only work to worry over and then August hit starting a chain of several surprises. After returning from Washington DC I was greeted by Isabella (my 1997 toyota camry) and she had just gotten out of surgery costing around $700. Around that same time I randomly got a phone call from mom, she claimed dad had "found a girl for me." They seemed to think she was flawless and liked her family, and the mystery girl gave mom her number. Hmmm, to call or not call? Dad said she was pretty so I knew it was true, mom liked her---I feared it may be too good to be true! The odds seemed strangely in my favor, So I called her. She called back. I came to see her, she came to see me, and so the story goes...Brittany and Jacob's dads met, and months later Brittany and Jacob were dating. Things seemed to be adding up just fine, I had a good running car that could carry me to and from Raleigh and then...it's Saturday night and Isabella won't start, I get her towed the next day to my mechanic and have a new starter put in, 2nd surgery, $300. Ok, so we're all set, I'm going to see Brittany...on the way to school to present in front of the class with a friend of mine and out of nowhere a familiar BANG! for the 4th time in 3 years, someone has hit me in the rear; Isabella is badly hurt. I'm given a Jetta so I make it to Raleigh just fine, and am welcomed home to be told, "Mr. Edwards, I'm sorry but we've totalled your car, the worth is not equal to what it would take to fix it." Some people would be happy with such notice, all I could think of was the $1,000 that just vanished. After much battle, insurance company settles and dad finds a year 2000 blue ford focus which was immediately named the smurf. The smurf and I travel to raleigh and myrtle beach and everywhere else we need to go, things are great. Then, like a repeating sick dream a familiar slime green drips from my car....Oh no! I imagine I'm again going to replace a radiator. Oh how I wish I would have been replacing a radiator, it turns out the heating core went bad (who knows what that is?) it's some sort of box that heats up something, all I know is when it goes bad your defrost wont work and anitfreeze will drip all over the place. Side Note: you have to take the entire car, inside and out apart to get to the thing. $777 later, the smurf is healthy. whoever came up with 777 being a sign of perfection or luck, well----no comment. After hearing such news you can image losing another chunk would leave a descendant of Jerry Edwards sick to his stomach...but no, I walked out smiling. Finally, Since 2006, I am satisfied. And yes, I'm happy. I haven't been very public with my new glow of happiness and I think multitudes have wondered several things. My response: keep wondering. Meeting Brittany and developing a friendship and having a relationship with her has brought a level of happiness and sense of character about me that lacks sufficient availability of words to explain, but simply put, she makes me smile even when my car goes in for a near $1,000 surgery. She has become my favorite person, and an amazing girlfriend, and is genuine excellence. And for the record, I am crazy about her. That's all I really want said, she's special to me. I'm so glad to have a mom and dad who cared enough to get a phone number from a stranger. I have petitioned my God to send a friend that would make me want to be better, and fuel my energy to want to make her happy, most. Let's be realistic, if there's ever been a request for a miracle, that's one. Pleading something so invaluable that literally can govern your happiness, focus, and motive is a direct request for a miracle. So there you have it, I got a miracle, I really like her, it's a miracle I have a girl like her--that's all you need to know. So, instead of asking all about my miracle, let me ask you: have you prayed for yours? Alma 26:8

sick-o

I'd like to thank all of you for your phone calls and prayers on behalf of my deemed sickness that has beat at me since Labor Day evening. I woke up tuesday morning feeling not so great, nearly passed out in my first class, again had a close call overriding loss of conciousness driving home from work (yes, I was in a car and had to pull over so as not to become lethal), and was needle stuck by a very non-believing nurse and nearly fainted again. I have never felt the sensation of three body shut downs in one day. It was interesting. I was diagnosed with the "usc virus" that has been a late menace to the s. carolina campus. I tossed $71 to verify I didn't have swine flu and went home to lie in frustrated weakness. I took the day off from life yesterday and recovered for the most part. This morning I returned to class and work and have improved almost completely. I'm not the biggest fan of medicine and feel like a drug addict with a loopy kind of head with all the drug I've imported yesterday and today, but when you never take medicine I guess it works a little harder on you than others. The owner of the company's wife called me today to check on me (she's an RN, really sweet lady) and the VP (her sister) also called today and asked how David was doing as well. I found it thoughtful. Anyway, I'm back at it, just taking it lightly right now. I hope all of you keep out of reach of any sicknesses. During my triple delight fainting stage on Tuesday I felt somewhat like Lincoln did when he said, "If there's any place worse than Hell, I'm in it." Well, slightly different circumstances, but I haven't felt so horrible since my attack of sickness in the DR. That's all I've got, go research why turtles live so long.

New Technologies

The two images at the top of the screen are my recent technological movements forward. One of my last post was an angry explosion on my brand new LG Shine phone that broke out of nowhere and no refund was given to me. Since then, I patiently used my three year old LG CU30 I think is its name, while waiting to be able to purchase a new phone. Finally the day has come and I was able to purchase a new one. Given all the cool phones like LG Shine and other multiple media phones are anywhere from $200-$500 I decided if I'm getting screwed, I'm getting screwed right! So I bought a blackberry-tons of technological opinions have been thrown my way, but I love it. It does a great job. The netbook is going to help me with school, given will and I have been sharing a computer, I felt once the school year hits the two of us don't need to be trading off on computer time because we'll both need to be glued to them. We all know will has dominance over the computer, I mean, if push came to shove he could easily cast a spell on it and I wouldn't be able to use the thing anyway. So I've caught scrutiny and opinions over my little dell, but here's what i have to say: I ISSUE A CHALLENGE, MY DELL WILL LAST LONGER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S COMPUTER! IT WILL NOT BREAK AFTER A YEAR, NOT HAVE FAILURE, AND WILL ALWAYS RUN FASTER THAN ANYTHING!!! The reason I say this is because computers are like cars in certain aspects: you drive the things to death like a mom dropping off 4 million kids and making 18 stops a day and what happens? The things tear up. But look at older people, the retired kind that buy a car and keep the thing for 20 years: hmmm, it's because they're not driving the things to death, they're simple with them. For me, I'm like that with a computer: I use word, email, and web walking- mainly gmail, usc student sites, facebook, and online bill paying. That's it--no downloading a million things, no games, none of that hitting F2 stuff or going into control panel for who knows what, nope not my bag. I'm simple with my computer, and my simplicity will make this thing last forever...well, I hope anyway. Ok computer savy humans: go ahead-rip me a new one!

Seriously?

I think it's funny how over time, what was once a very serious matter becomes trivial; I've also found as the older I climb the latter in age matters that seemed to exist as a default have birthed a new reality. Allow me to explain....

Sports. At ten years old a foam navy blue Nationwide sponsored hat, along with long white socks with a blue stripe, navy blue pants, a v-neck Nationwide shirt, and black nike cleats were a big deal. Dixie Youth Baseball games were serious. Chatter on first base, or pitching from the mound, nearly every breath taking was strictly monitored. Every game meant the world and practically consumed the entire day's mental capacity. Thinking back, it was as if the smallest action of disobedience, human error, or lack of effort in any form could be fatal to the team and even myself. I can remember how all of us (teammates) had to hold back the tears if we so much as struck out or made an error; I mean holding back the tears at a literal level. Those games were serious, and everybody new it. Kirk Stevens was the classic threatening coach who credited you with a lap for anything you did right or wrong. Famed "politics" existed during actual drafts of players. When I think about it, the structure of the game was so serious, it's a wonder we didn't get paychecks.

Now I look at myself as a 24-year-old left center fielder playing for a church league softball team. The structure is definately organized but errors are certain, Strike outs always happen, and the majority of the teams are out of shape and rarely hold practices. The games are unquestionably less than serious, but arguably much more fun than the games as a ten-year-old. Now I find myself stepping into the batter's box and yelling out to the crowd "hey mom!" or "I'm swinging for the fence this time," and not only is it accpetable, things like that are encouraged.

I used to think turning on a light switch yields to seeing lights go on in a house, that idea changed when I rolled down to the D.R. I used to think turning on the tv automatically meant you could find ESPN, that idea changed when I moved into my first apartment and could hardly afford to pay attention, and rarely did. Little things like asking mom to pick up fruit roll-ups or wondering why in the world she wouldn't go somewhere to make the brakes stop squealing. Now-a-days I understand the why's and the simple pleasures of life have turned to large luxuries.

Time changes things.

There is no way!

Sometimes we experience something that seems "like it came from a movie" or "from a tv show." That chimerical point of view has lately had me thinking. Movies and TV shows are depictions of real life, perhaps "jazzed up" or given supernatural circumstances, but the base of humor, interaction, relationships, etc- all come from the same base: real life. So I have a real life story for you:

I had been working at Innovative Courier Solutions for several months, probably around a year or so. I work with a group of guys-you know, the type that drink beer on the weekends, know how to fish, know how to get there hands dirty, where polo shirts and standard issue kahki pants or shorts and are constantly hot, even during winter time. I on the other hand, have lived sober forever, haven't fished in over ten years, and wore fashionable clothing that constantly reached outside the boundaries of the traditional polo shirt and kahki pants. Clearly, I was easily identified as 'the different one.'

Now don't get me wrong, being branded as peculiar is nothing new to me, nor do I find it uncomfortable. However, in the business world, I caught on that if you wanted to be appreciated it was advantageous to 'fit in.' So I came up with a plan, I would figure out how I could keep my peculiarity (to maintain my image of standing out) but also fit in with 'the boys.' Every group of boys has 'different one,' to name a few: Egon, Donantello, the Blue Ranger. It was often that my boss (we call him Billy) referred to me as Jake (much more manly name in some circumstances) and would call me a 'strapping buck' because my work ethic was often blazing and I wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty and provide physical help.

One day at work, I was trying to cut something with a pair of sissors (because of course I didn't have a pocket knife, for those who are counting we're up to minus 3 man points) and as I was cutting, Billy walks up and says: "Why don'cha use a knife like a real man?" Now, I thought to respond, "Oh, well uh, I forgot mine today" but that'd be lying so I went with the next best answer which naturally was, "Yeah, I know, I gotta pick me up a new one." Evidently, this was my chance, a pocket knife was a clear answer to fitting in...

I new going to a "manly store" like outdoorsman anything was out of the question, I always tuck my shirt in and wear glasses, there's no way a nerdy fellow like myself would ever survive in a place like that, and although my Eagle Scout status seems impressive, they'd find a way to pick on me. I decided to casually make the approach at the sportsman section at wal-mart. I arrived. I tried to seem like a I knew everything about what I was doing; I started naming different brands, and saying things like, "yeah that's not a bad one there" or "well i'm just not a (insert brand name here) type a guy." I made my purchase quickly: a titanium steel colored pocket knife made by gerber with one of those hook things that you can latch on to your pocket so everyone can see: This guy is a manly man.

So I plan it all out, I'll be at work on Monday with my knife in my pocket, I'll be ready to go. My excitement was similar to that of a 12 year old boy scout going to camp for the first time. I headed into work and acted normal (I belive dressed in classic polo shirt and kahki pants), more than likely talking in a slightly deeper voice that normal and odds are against it that I shaved that day. I believe I was also equipped with (our office favorite team) Gamecock ball cap. Needless to say, I was ready. Only twenty minutes into my day, Chuck (a co-worker) turned to me and said, "Hey man do you have a knife?" You can only imagine the excitement I had, I couldn't believe it! It was like something you'd see on TV! It was great! I calmly hid my raging excitement and less than casually reached my hand in my pocket and said, "yeah, here you go."

He complimented me immediately on the knife's fine luster and asked where I had purchased such a fine tool, I quickly answered saying, "well it might surprise you (trying to express that I didn't go to the classic 'everything store') but i found this one at wal-mart, not a bad price either."

I have since become very "fit it" as the unusually dressed, sober one, who is also slightly a manly man. Oh and by the way, I lost the knife months ago and am back to using scissors.

boycott against at&t

well, let me start this story around january. i got a new phone, and plan on my own, and wouldn't you know the darn thing was awesome. it was called the shine. a mirror phone with a super awesome camera and huge screen and quality and a half. bi loved it. well, the thing fell off my couch, landed on the floor and quit working. so i went the at&t store and she said to just call warranty hotline humans and they'd send me another one. well the morons at the at&t hotline center were non-americans who couldn't speak english but both told me they weren't replacing it since i was white and spoke english. oh wait, and because it fell off of my couch and quit. so i went back to using my old phone which has survived hundreds of plummits to the ground a painful scooter wreck and a million other things and still works. they're made by the same brand. go figure it'd be my luck to get a lemon and them refuse to refund me. at&t and LG will both be receiving angry letters from me and i'll post that later. i'm still furious right now, and shopping for a new phone that'll set me back atleast a couple hundred dollars. stupid.

pues

i like funny words like the title of this post. pues was what i like to call a hiccup word for dominicans. it was the grammatically chosen way to say, 'um' or 'well' when you really don't know what to say. lately i've stumbled or fallen into such situations where ya kinda just wanna toss a pues bomb out. like the other day at work when we got torn up for who knows what, to respond to it, i kind of just wanted to say, 'pues' and that be the end of it. too bad pues doesn't solve much. so i playing with kaitlyn and natalie the other day who i lately have referred to as 'bad' and 'worse' and something hilarious happened....i'm gonna compose it in screen write form for more pleasureable reading...

flashback

(while sitting on the couch with beth and natalie during the holidays)

(natalie comes from a fresh shower and lotion wat nots from mom and into beth's lap, who's sitting beside me)

(i turn to natalie)

me: natalie, may i smell you please?

(natalie acknowledges my existance-rare-and smiles)

natalie: no.

it was hilarious!

So the other day i was in the chair with kaitlyn....

(while holding kaitlyn)

me: hey kaitlyn gimme a hug

kaitlyn: no

(then turns and gives me a kiss)

i wasn't quite expecting that one. me and seth played the wii and he flat waxed me in those games, it was pretty cool watching someone i'm over a decade older than explain to me how to play a game then follow by beating me like it's routine. good times. while beth was desparately trying to get the kids to help clean up a beach of candy in their livingroom carolyn decided to analyze everything and discuss what each thing was and i thought to myself, at this rate we'll finish sometime next week, we eventually finished but it was funny.

Seeing Double

i feel kinda like this guy in the gym!!! this super puney dude trying to lift a weight! i loved this picture. and he has a big nose like mine too. and his knees are bent in like mine too! oh, this picture killed me!!!

this picture was called "happy fat man!" i love it. if i'm ever above extra small and graduate to a fat man, i wanna be that guy!!

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take a step back... and smile

Yesterday was one of those days i wish i could put in a jar and pull back out the next time the clouds settle in and decide to rain on me. I sat down this morning and realized my life made sense and that was successful. yesterday i had the opportunity to participate in three blessings, and two setting apart's for callings. interestingly, i think that's a record, the laying on of hands 5 times in one day. i've been doing some soul searching lately and trying to figure out why i'm here, we all have a collective, obvious, universal purpose, but i believe we have specific purposes too. so i studied it out til i figured part of mine out. some of us are specifically here to set examples, others to provide marvelous works, some to invent, others to endure through the worst of times, some to walk right into great things and make them greater. part of the reason i'm here is simple, i'm here for someone else. i find myself happiest when i'm doing something for someone else. yesterday i got to be a friend, a leader, a brother, and God's instrument all in 24 hours. i ended the night giving a friend some advice, and i went to sleep happy. it didn't feel like one of those days where nothing ever stopped, it felt like one of those days where things kept happening. i've decided every morning i can wake up and think, "i'm still all empty inside," or i can wake up and say, "looks like there's a lot of room to fill me up today." it's all about our approach. when i'm there for someone else, i forget me, and trust me thinking much about my own disasters is enough to drive us all crazy. so i think others, and it works for me. so this morning as i thought of the burdens, troubles, struggles, and failures that surround my life, i simply took a step back - and smiled. what makes you smile?

Sure, this world is full of trouble
I ain't said it ain't.
Lord, I've had enough and double
Reason for complaint;
Rain and storm have come to fret me,
Skies are often gray;
Thorns and brambles have beset me
On the road — but say,
Ain't it fine today?

What's the use of always weepin',
Making trouble last?
What's the use of always keepin'
Thinkin' of the past?
Each must have his tribulation —
Water with his wine;
Life, it ain't no celebration,
Trouble? — I've had mine —
But today is fine!

It's today that I am livin',
Not a month ago.
Havin'; losin'; takin'; givin';
As time wills it so.
Yesterday a cloud of sorrow
Fell across the way,
It may rain again tomorrow,
It may rain — but say,
Ain't it fine today?

Mr. Bill gave me a great analogy about Chile last night. He talked about how bad the smog is there, and when it would rain it was a sick, nasty tough day of walking around. However, after the rain, there was always atleast a half a day of blue skies. So he began to love the rain, because although it wasn't so fun, he knew that following, would be atleast a half a day's blue skies. Wow. I love it. So, if you might be traveling through a smoggy, nasty rain remember- just around the corner is atleast a half a day of clear, blue skies. Its what gives me hope.

You said it, Douglas...

If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley-but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can't be a tree.

If you can't be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can't be a muskie then just be a bass-
But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew,
There's something for all of us here,
There's big work to do, and there's lesser to do,
And the task you must do is the near.

If you can't be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or you fail-
Be the best of whatever you are!

I absolutely love this poem. for the last several weeks at work my co-workers played 'the biggest loser' for weight loss, so i joined in on the fun, only i was trying to gain weight. well, everyone lost weight, even me. so i lost. i came in dead last, b/c i went in the wrong direction! so i'm no good at gaining weight, and that's alright with me. i like to think i'm the best a being little, i don't know too many other people who can fit through key holes, blow away in a healthy wind, and can disappear by turning sideways. so what are you best at?

one word thing

Here is the one word only survey. You know I must not be at home if I had time to do this. (Work is either crazy or unoccupied. Had some unoccupied time so I figured I might as well do something to keep me busy.)Enjoy reading! Copy and post your one word answers to your blog if you like.

Where is your cell phone? pocket

Your significant other? unclaimed

Your hair? shedding

Your mother? talented

Your father? underappreciated

Your favorite thing? love

Your dream last night? inappropriate

Your favorite drink? juice

Your dream/goal? married

What room you are in? library

Your hobby? writing

Your fear? cold

Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive

Where were you last night? home

Muffins? blueberry

Wish list item? success

Where you grew up? hartsville

Last thing you did? type

What are you wearing? clothes

Your TV? broken

Your pets? nope

Friends? quality

Your life? unpredictable

Your mood? depressed

Missing some one? her

Car? rolling

Something you're not wearing? ring

Your favorite store? target

Your favorite color? green

When is the last time you laughed? night

Last time you cried? temple

Who will resend this? nobody

One place that I go to over and over? toilet

One person who emails me regularly? chuck

My favorite place to eat? italian

Why you participated in this survey? mneh.

What are you doing tonight? sleeping

Surreal

Sunday provided a definitive moment in my life. I went home to Hartsville, centrally purposed to hear mr. will give a talk. i arrived at a familiar building with mary (a familiar friend) and was greeted by familiar faces. i sat in sacrament meeting and was directly touched when dennis stood and mentioned the unique feeling of the Spirit from the gathering of brotherhood which sat before him. i left church that day after having bonded with several friends and family and gave mary a tour of my hometown. i went places i haven't been in over 5 years, and ended up in the cemetery. i looked for ancestors on my side and her side and found one or two. it was nice. for the first time, in what felt like forever, i felt a pure feeling of belonging to something. i felt right at home. the roads seemed smaller than what i remember, but my love for the place much deeper than i've ever felt. i felt the soul swell like wood placed in a pool of water and taken out to dry. i was so filled with love, and so affected by spiritual influence it almost overwhelmed me. it's interesting to me that a hometown is capable of bringing so accurate understanding and feeling. In hometowns, we recollect, we exercise our minds and souls in ways they're rarely used, and when that happens we often times learn something new. i learned to appreciate a little more of what matters most, and to live life to benefit what matters most. the experience in Hartsville was surprising and i loved it.

All in the Family

surprise parties are interesting. better observed, surprises in general come equipped with irregularity; i think it's the unique rarity which normally makes them so appealing to us. Saturday, could have been known as surpriseday with all the around the corner and out of nowhere occurrences that took place. let me begin with surprise number 1: rupit.

see, rupit, he's my brother in law and he turned thirty a couple sunday's ago but all of us decided to celebrate a week late, but he didn't know all of that. i've always found it a little peculiar how at often times we seem to choose when other people celebrate for their own birthday, shouldn't it be the other way around? oh well, it's not important. so back to rupit: i asked him to come pick me up from the eye doctor and told him i couldn't see. he came and got me and given we were too early to arrive at his surprise party, i stalled. we ended up at bilo to see mary, and out of nowhere she ended up coming with us. Surprise number 2: mary.

so, mary, rupit and myself hop in his toaster cube like car and dash to blythewood. i'm happy. the surprise is secure, my lady is beside me, my heart pounds with joy like a rhyno stomps as if he were playin wack a mole with goffers. we arrive. Surprise! the party is perfect, the plan mastered and completed. success. then outta nowhere like a refund check you weren't expecting the phone rings, not mine, mary's phone. she forget to give her sister her keys so she's stranded, we leave. back to garner's ferry is a good 25 minute drive if you're lucky. making haste is far from our advantage and all i can do is feel like a flashlight that can only work when the sun shines, worthless and insufficient. Surprise number 3: leaving the party after arriving only moments earlier. mary is upset, all i can do is leave and return to blythewood. the trip takes longer this time, it feels like waiting on santa claus. the seconds pass, the minutes go and go. my mind is so confused. its like all the events of the day got tossed into a blender and the outcomes were so mysterious it was hard to tell what happened, even though i was the one experiencing everything.

i arrive. i'm starving. i eat, and notice my brothers have enjoyed a scooter and flying down a hill on it. it seems like a good time i missed out on. i dont know how to react, whether to be upset that i missed out or to feel sorry for surprise number 3. i make no decision on reaction, i just move forward on the day. i see the scooter, but i'm quickly turned away from the scooter, surprise number 4: dad, mom, beth, david, and will pick me up, will leaves. i'm suddenly headed back to garner's ferry. my logistical mind gives up, my body could swear it's made this trip too many times in one day, and it's been made in a different car with different people both times. wow. analyzation, thinking, planning, and understanding are all impossible. i relax my thoughts like a runner after a quick sprint falls to the ground and just breathes. i breathe. we arrive to my car, i drive to my house and show off my new abode. a half hour later or so i'm back on the road, back to blythewood.

i arrive. my emotions are shot, my character so dumbfounded i look for a sense of belonging to anything. the scooter. my passions and intensions have wanted the scooter and the hill for hours now. jared has the scooter, i take it, i walk up the hill and by the time i'm at the top i'm on the phone. mary wants to have a serious conversation. we try to talk, my emotions, feelings, and understanding are all still scattered like papers flung off a desk from a frustrated office worker. i start down the hill on the scooter, surprise number 5: speed accelerates fast, too fast, i lose control. before i can react, this thick film of confusion that has frustrated my normality is exhausted and destroyed, i have a half a second to think. not enough time. i fall. no, i plunge to the ground. my shoes fly, my glasses vanish, the phone explodes and flies...wait, i fly! i face plant into the ground and immediately feel the rash of gravel and a fat pound to my face. reaction abilities awake from my mind like someone who recovers from amneshia at an instant and remembers. i run to the phone, find my glasses, and get my shoes. suddenly i see jared. i'm back on the phone. then i hear it, surprise number 6: oh man, you're bleeding. i tell mary, i'm hurt but i'll be fine, i'll call back later. a thin trickle begins to lazily fall from my face, is it sweat? no, blood. i feel like i'm rinsing my face off, but with soupy red ink. i wipe my face and my shirt is stained. i walk inside to countless shocked faces. i look in the mirror and start to clean up, then i see it, a droopy eye brow. almost impossible to think it was once even connected. a big red, jagged tear sits on my forhead and i know i'm doomed. surprise number 7: i panic, me and mom rush somewhere in my car but now she drives. for the seventh time that day, i'm in a different traveling situation. mom is lost, i cant see, i'm exploding about everything. finally we go to the emergency room.

we arrive. we fill out papers and i wait. will and dad come, mom leaves, beth comes back with mom, they leave. i wait. i bleed. i'm seen, but only to be told to wait more. a little kid passes by and stares at me like a painting where the eyes follow you, his eyes are glued to mine. i laugh. emotion for the first time starts to resurface. i laugh, and laugh more. i'm seen again, this time examined. will and dad are there with me. the verdict, surprise number 8: stitches.

will and dad leave. but rupit and jared have arrived. we change rooms, another locational disaster for my body and soul to try to understand. suddenly, i'm lying down with eyes taped shut. the entire day i've felt blinded by a film of confusion and shock, now i cant see. i know needles and pain are coming. i pray. i tell the Lord i know it will be painful, i dont know what to ask so i just think of whatever my brain can still process. surprise number 9: comfort. there should be pain but my eye brow and forehead are calm, like when the eye of a hurricane passes over. i'm stitched. the nurse cleans my arm, surprise number 10: unexplainable pain radiates throughout my body, i tremble. during my misfortune i try to sooth my soul with humor, or spanish, nothing really works.

we leave. this time jared drives, traveling situation is up to the 8th new situation. we talk, and arrive to rupit's. i'm still in blythewood. after a multifaceted arrangement of events and situations i'm back to where i started ten hours earlier. i leave.

this time i'm alone, i call mary and try to explain the day. nothing adequately describes it. the important conversation never happens. i arrive home. i finally have time to think, and then pain sets in. i'm hurt, i'm cut, and i know something is wrong, i begin to slip into an emotional coma. i ice my eye, and i'm in enough pain phsyically and emotionally my mentality is pushed aside. i sleep. the day ends with me on the couch wounded, confused, and baffled. i wake up and think, what happened?

can you explain it?