word thing

I posted this over a year ago, and decided I'd do it again to see how things have changed...

Where is your cell phone? pocket

Your significant other? perfect

Your hair? cured

Your mother? thoughful

Your father? correct

Your favorite thing? brittany

Your dream last night? forgotten

Your favorite drink? juice

Your dream/goal? survivng

What room you are in? dining

Your hobby? writing

Your fear? cold

Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive

Where were you last night? softball

Muffins? blueberry

Wish list item? car

Where you grew up? hartsville

Last thing you did? type

What are you wearing? clothes

Your TV? old

Your pets? nope

Friends? quality

Your life? unpredictable

Your mood? fueled

Missing some one? her

Car? trojan

Something you're not wearing? makeup

Your favorite store? handypak

Your favorite color? green

When is the last time you laughed? class

Last time you cried? forgot

Who will resend this? won't

One place that I go to over and over? toilet

One person who emails me regularly? billy

My favorite place to eat? brittany's

Why you participated in this survey? mneh.

What are you doing tonight? sleeping

tides and nerds

6 years ago I walked the halls of the west columbia stake building with a man similarly built to my own frame who was a few years ahead of me. His name: chris lincoln. chris has been like a brother since I was 18. I remember he nearly shed tears when I left for the dominican republic and we departed ways with his giving me some ammodium, he said I'd need it. Before I left he issued a statement: "jacob, if I'm not married by the time you get home...(I cant remember how it ended)" and to me, the statement didn't make much sense. 2 years of quality missionary time later, I return to find a single chris lincoln. my first year home was chris's last year in school, and we never saw each other. he seemed to be married to his school work and always working, and again like before, I didn't quite understand. Chris graduated, I attended an honorary recognition for his achievements and he was off to a new place. Around the same time I became friends with a man slightly larger than myself. His name: brad terry. I was a couple years ahead of him. We had been like brothers. I remember when he departed ways for cambodia, I nearly shed a tear and issued an all too familiar statement: "brad, if I'm not married by the time you get home...(I cant remember how it ended)" and to me, the statement that chris had issued earlier, made perfect sense. Brad returned some 2 years of quality missionary time later to find a single jacob edwards. (note: brad got married quickly after returning) With brad home, I have found myself dying over school work, and always working in between and suddenly I caught an understanding of why chris made like a character in a cheap edwards brothers film and disappeared, but rarely came back. I think it's funny how I've been on both sides of almost the exact situation and while on one I couldn't quite understand and the other, I could see everything. Interesting. Anyway, I am currently battling for excellence in 19 hrs worth of classes and wake up at around 3:30 am to get to work in the mornings. Never have things been so challenging...however, I'm passing every class right now and have an A in one of them (big deal). I pray for a miracle almost everyday and I see at least one everyday, the other day I got hit with three in a matter of hours. three! I find myself praying everyday now to see the miracles, and ideally as it may sound, I'm seeing them with ease. moral of the stories- pray to see things, pray for miracles, pray. and after you pray-praise. like a familiar mc hammer ballad: "you've got to praise."

I guess I should provide an update since the last post which happened a while ago:
since then, I've fallen madly in love with brittany and we're engaged to be married on july 29th. Brittany is the driving force in my scholastic's and largely the reason I can bare waking up on sometimes only 3 hours of sleep to go to work and then follow it with school all day long. the ford focus exploded due to edwards luck and its former owner. I lost thousands over the whole deal. Will was nice enough to buy a car and give me the one of dad's that he had been driving, for me use, and allow me to get by with the rest of my funds for wedding and married things. I'm driving a 95 corolla with over 306,000 miles on it, and it drives better than most porsche's I believe. My miracle counts tends to be higher than normal folks because it cranks each time I get in it. amidst ample stress, no sleep, and driving all over south and north carolina, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I hope the same for you.

ps- in case you were wondering chris lincoln is on the marriage path as well, I guess we'll be trying to understand raising kids simultaneously.

Times

From August to November I've had a lot to say, but haven't said much at all. 2008 and the 1st half of 2009 threw me more curve balls than jorge posada saw this past season. Summer days were lazy with only work to worry over and then August hit starting a chain of several surprises. After returning from Washington DC I was greeted by Isabella (my 1997 toyota camry) and she had just gotten out of surgery costing around $700. Around that same time I randomly got a phone call from mom, she claimed dad had "found a girl for me." They seemed to think she was flawless and liked her family, and the mystery girl gave mom her number. Hmmm, to call or not call? Dad said she was pretty so I knew it was true, mom liked her---I feared it may be too good to be true! The odds seemed strangely in my favor, So I called her. She called back. I came to see her, she came to see me, and so the story goes...Brittany and Jacob's dads met, and months later Brittany and Jacob were dating. Things seemed to be adding up just fine, I had a good running car that could carry me to and from Raleigh and then...it's Saturday night and Isabella won't start, I get her towed the next day to my mechanic and have a new starter put in, 2nd surgery, $300. Ok, so we're all set, I'm going to see Brittany...on the way to school to present in front of the class with a friend of mine and out of nowhere a familiar BANG! for the 4th time in 3 years, someone has hit me in the rear; Isabella is badly hurt. I'm given a Jetta so I make it to Raleigh just fine, and am welcomed home to be told, "Mr. Edwards, I'm sorry but we've totalled your car, the worth is not equal to what it would take to fix it." Some people would be happy with such notice, all I could think of was the $1,000 that just vanished. After much battle, insurance company settles and dad finds a year 2000 blue ford focus which was immediately named the smurf. The smurf and I travel to raleigh and myrtle beach and everywhere else we need to go, things are great. Then, like a repeating sick dream a familiar slime green drips from my car....Oh no! I imagine I'm again going to replace a radiator. Oh how I wish I would have been replacing a radiator, it turns out the heating core went bad (who knows what that is?) it's some sort of box that heats up something, all I know is when it goes bad your defrost wont work and anitfreeze will drip all over the place. Side Note: you have to take the entire car, inside and out apart to get to the thing. $777 later, the smurf is healthy. whoever came up with 777 being a sign of perfection or luck, well----no comment. After hearing such news you can image losing another chunk would leave a descendant of Jerry Edwards sick to his stomach...but no, I walked out smiling. Finally, Since 2006, I am satisfied. And yes, I'm happy. I haven't been very public with my new glow of happiness and I think multitudes have wondered several things. My response: keep wondering. Meeting Brittany and developing a friendship and having a relationship with her has brought a level of happiness and sense of character about me that lacks sufficient availability of words to explain, but simply put, she makes me smile even when my car goes in for a near $1,000 surgery. She has become my favorite person, and an amazing girlfriend, and is genuine excellence. And for the record, I am crazy about her. That's all I really want said, she's special to me. I'm so glad to have a mom and dad who cared enough to get a phone number from a stranger. I have petitioned my God to send a friend that would make me want to be better, and fuel my energy to want to make her happy, most. Let's be realistic, if there's ever been a request for a miracle, that's one. Pleading something so invaluable that literally can govern your happiness, focus, and motive is a direct request for a miracle. So there you have it, I got a miracle, I really like her, it's a miracle I have a girl like her--that's all you need to know. So, instead of asking all about my miracle, let me ask you: have you prayed for yours? Alma 26:8

sick-o

I'd like to thank all of you for your phone calls and prayers on behalf of my deemed sickness that has beat at me since Labor Day evening. I woke up tuesday morning feeling not so great, nearly passed out in my first class, again had a close call overriding loss of conciousness driving home from work (yes, I was in a car and had to pull over so as not to become lethal), and was needle stuck by a very non-believing nurse and nearly fainted again. I have never felt the sensation of three body shut downs in one day. It was interesting. I was diagnosed with the "usc virus" that has been a late menace to the s. carolina campus. I tossed $71 to verify I didn't have swine flu and went home to lie in frustrated weakness. I took the day off from life yesterday and recovered for the most part. This morning I returned to class and work and have improved almost completely. I'm not the biggest fan of medicine and feel like a drug addict with a loopy kind of head with all the drug I've imported yesterday and today, but when you never take medicine I guess it works a little harder on you than others. The owner of the company's wife called me today to check on me (she's an RN, really sweet lady) and the VP (her sister) also called today and asked how David was doing as well. I found it thoughtful. Anyway, I'm back at it, just taking it lightly right now. I hope all of you keep out of reach of any sicknesses. During my triple delight fainting stage on Tuesday I felt somewhat like Lincoln did when he said, "If there's any place worse than Hell, I'm in it." Well, slightly different circumstances, but I haven't felt so horrible since my attack of sickness in the DR. That's all I've got, go research why turtles live so long.

New Technologies

The two images at the top of the screen are my recent technological movements forward. One of my last post was an angry explosion on my brand new LG Shine phone that broke out of nowhere and no refund was given to me. Since then, I patiently used my three year old LG CU30 I think is its name, while waiting to be able to purchase a new phone. Finally the day has come and I was able to purchase a new one. Given all the cool phones like LG Shine and other multiple media phones are anywhere from $200-$500 I decided if I'm getting screwed, I'm getting screwed right! So I bought a blackberry-tons of technological opinions have been thrown my way, but I love it. It does a great job. The netbook is going to help me with school, given will and I have been sharing a computer, I felt once the school year hits the two of us don't need to be trading off on computer time because we'll both need to be glued to them. We all know will has dominance over the computer, I mean, if push came to shove he could easily cast a spell on it and I wouldn't be able to use the thing anyway. So I've caught scrutiny and opinions over my little dell, but here's what i have to say: I ISSUE A CHALLENGE, MY DELL WILL LAST LONGER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S COMPUTER! IT WILL NOT BREAK AFTER A YEAR, NOT HAVE FAILURE, AND WILL ALWAYS RUN FASTER THAN ANYTHING!!! The reason I say this is because computers are like cars in certain aspects: you drive the things to death like a mom dropping off 4 million kids and making 18 stops a day and what happens? The things tear up. But look at older people, the retired kind that buy a car and keep the thing for 20 years: hmmm, it's because they're not driving the things to death, they're simple with them. For me, I'm like that with a computer: I use word, email, and web walking- mainly gmail, usc student sites, facebook, and online bill paying. That's it--no downloading a million things, no games, none of that hitting F2 stuff or going into control panel for who knows what, nope not my bag. I'm simple with my computer, and my simplicity will make this thing last forever...well, I hope anyway. Ok computer savy humans: go ahead-rip me a new one!

Seriously?

I think it's funny how over time, what was once a very serious matter becomes trivial; I've also found as the older I climb the latter in age matters that seemed to exist as a default have birthed a new reality. Allow me to explain....

Sports. At ten years old a foam navy blue Nationwide sponsored hat, along with long white socks with a blue stripe, navy blue pants, a v-neck Nationwide shirt, and black nike cleats were a big deal. Dixie Youth Baseball games were serious. Chatter on first base, or pitching from the mound, nearly every breath taking was strictly monitored. Every game meant the world and practically consumed the entire day's mental capacity. Thinking back, it was as if the smallest action of disobedience, human error, or lack of effort in any form could be fatal to the team and even myself. I can remember how all of us (teammates) had to hold back the tears if we so much as struck out or made an error; I mean holding back the tears at a literal level. Those games were serious, and everybody new it. Kirk Stevens was the classic threatening coach who credited you with a lap for anything you did right or wrong. Famed "politics" existed during actual drafts of players. When I think about it, the structure of the game was so serious, it's a wonder we didn't get paychecks.

Now I look at myself as a 24-year-old left center fielder playing for a church league softball team. The structure is definately organized but errors are certain, Strike outs always happen, and the majority of the teams are out of shape and rarely hold practices. The games are unquestionably less than serious, but arguably much more fun than the games as a ten-year-old. Now I find myself stepping into the batter's box and yelling out to the crowd "hey mom!" or "I'm swinging for the fence this time," and not only is it accpetable, things like that are encouraged.

I used to think turning on a light switch yields to seeing lights go on in a house, that idea changed when I rolled down to the D.R. I used to think turning on the tv automatically meant you could find ESPN, that idea changed when I moved into my first apartment and could hardly afford to pay attention, and rarely did. Little things like asking mom to pick up fruit roll-ups or wondering why in the world she wouldn't go somewhere to make the brakes stop squealing. Now-a-days I understand the why's and the simple pleasures of life have turned to large luxuries.

Time changes things.

There is no way!

Sometimes we experience something that seems "like it came from a movie" or "from a tv show." That chimerical point of view has lately had me thinking. Movies and TV shows are depictions of real life, perhaps "jazzed up" or given supernatural circumstances, but the base of humor, interaction, relationships, etc- all come from the same base: real life. So I have a real life story for you:

I had been working at Innovative Courier Solutions for several months, probably around a year or so. I work with a group of guys-you know, the type that drink beer on the weekends, know how to fish, know how to get there hands dirty, where polo shirts and standard issue kahki pants or shorts and are constantly hot, even during winter time. I on the other hand, have lived sober forever, haven't fished in over ten years, and wore fashionable clothing that constantly reached outside the boundaries of the traditional polo shirt and kahki pants. Clearly, I was easily identified as 'the different one.'

Now don't get me wrong, being branded as peculiar is nothing new to me, nor do I find it uncomfortable. However, in the business world, I caught on that if you wanted to be appreciated it was advantageous to 'fit in.' So I came up with a plan, I would figure out how I could keep my peculiarity (to maintain my image of standing out) but also fit in with 'the boys.' Every group of boys has 'different one,' to name a few: Egon, Donantello, the Blue Ranger. It was often that my boss (we call him Billy) referred to me as Jake (much more manly name in some circumstances) and would call me a 'strapping buck' because my work ethic was often blazing and I wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty and provide physical help.

One day at work, I was trying to cut something with a pair of sissors (because of course I didn't have a pocket knife, for those who are counting we're up to minus 3 man points) and as I was cutting, Billy walks up and says: "Why don'cha use a knife like a real man?" Now, I thought to respond, "Oh, well uh, I forgot mine today" but that'd be lying so I went with the next best answer which naturally was, "Yeah, I know, I gotta pick me up a new one." Evidently, this was my chance, a pocket knife was a clear answer to fitting in...

I new going to a "manly store" like outdoorsman anything was out of the question, I always tuck my shirt in and wear glasses, there's no way a nerdy fellow like myself would ever survive in a place like that, and although my Eagle Scout status seems impressive, they'd find a way to pick on me. I decided to casually make the approach at the sportsman section at wal-mart. I arrived. I tried to seem like a I knew everything about what I was doing; I started naming different brands, and saying things like, "yeah that's not a bad one there" or "well i'm just not a (insert brand name here) type a guy." I made my purchase quickly: a titanium steel colored pocket knife made by gerber with one of those hook things that you can latch on to your pocket so everyone can see: This guy is a manly man.

So I plan it all out, I'll be at work on Monday with my knife in my pocket, I'll be ready to go. My excitement was similar to that of a 12 year old boy scout going to camp for the first time. I headed into work and acted normal (I belive dressed in classic polo shirt and kahki pants), more than likely talking in a slightly deeper voice that normal and odds are against it that I shaved that day. I believe I was also equipped with (our office favorite team) Gamecock ball cap. Needless to say, I was ready. Only twenty minutes into my day, Chuck (a co-worker) turned to me and said, "Hey man do you have a knife?" You can only imagine the excitement I had, I couldn't believe it! It was like something you'd see on TV! It was great! I calmly hid my raging excitement and less than casually reached my hand in my pocket and said, "yeah, here you go."

He complimented me immediately on the knife's fine luster and asked where I had purchased such a fine tool, I quickly answered saying, "well it might surprise you (trying to express that I didn't go to the classic 'everything store') but i found this one at wal-mart, not a bad price either."

I have since become very "fit it" as the unusually dressed, sober one, who is also slightly a manly man. Oh and by the way, I lost the knife months ago and am back to using scissors.